An individual may come to counseling expressing a desire to overcome problems with depression. A counselor needs to hear their client’s own theory about what may be contributing to their depression. The counselor also may help the client investigate new areas they have not considered. In counseling, clients may be helped to discover their blind spots about the problem that brings them to counseling. After goals are established, the counselor then helps the client plan a strategy for resolving the problem.
Counselors use a variety of tools and techniques to help people change the things that they seek to change. At times a skilled counselor may ask a series of diagnostic questions or administer tests designed to assist them and their client in gaining greater insight into the nature of the problem. At other times counselors recognize that clients may lack life skills such as communication skills, conflict resolution skills, skills to enhance and sustain intimacy, and skills in the management of their thought life and emotions. Counselors may teach clients new skills to help them overcome the problem that brings them to counseling.
Counselors often use homework assignments as a tool for enabling clients to translate learning from the counseling session into their daily life. If clients are open to what the bible has to say, and if clients are receptive to prayer, the Christian counselor may utilize teaching from scripture, bible study assignments, and prayer as tools to assist people in growing in their knowledge of God’s will, and in their relationship to Him and others.
Occasionally a couple comes to counseling where the Christian spouse has coerced their non-Christian spouse to come to a Christian counselor. Occasionally the Christian will attempt to align themselves with the counselor, hoping they will side with them against their partner. Sometimes the Christian has been preaching and judging their spouse, and their secret hope is that the Christian counselor will join them in preaching to their non-Christian partner. It is extremely important that the Christian counselor assist these clients in learning a more effective way to disagree with their partner. It is also important for the Christian counselor not to take sides against any family member, but to always show respect to all family members.
As professional Christian counselors, we are committed to respect each person’s right to self determination and the exercise of free will. Though we attempt to steer our clients in a biblical direction, we never take responsibility for their life. We never coerce anyone to take a particular position. Advice may be given in the form of helping people identify alternatives and assisting clients in considering the pros and cons of each possible course of action. Counselors may assist clients by suggesting steps that may be taken to achieve a particular outcome. Counselors may gently and respectfully challenge myths, faulty thinking or reasoning, inconsistencies, and immoral behavior.
Though Christian counselors recognize man’s need for God, Christian counselors are not primarily evangelists. As is the case with all Christians, we are commanded in the great commission to go and make disciples. We at Christian Family Institute take a relational evangelism perspective. We hope to build loving and respectful relationships with all people, and to let our Lord’s light shine from our Christian lives. We show compassion for the struggles that people experience. We never give advice contrary to scripture.
Some Christians have defined “Christian Counseling” as only giving “spiritual and Biblical counsel”. This model assumes that the only tool a Christian needs is to read scripture to clients, and this is then called “Christian counseling”. We believe that whenever we help a client live an abundant life that is more conformed to the will of God, or find practical answers to problems, this is Christian counseling. Therefore, there is no distinction between the “secular” and “spiritual” realms. If we help a single parent manage impulses to mismanage money, this is “spiritual” counseling. We believe “secular counseling” is done without regard for spiritual and Biblical truth.
(Adapted from our corporate web site.)
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