Your spouse has been begging you for years to change: and you finally begin to do it. Counseling, prayer, support groups, accountability partner… the work is difficult, but the effort is beginning to pay off. So why is he/she so mad?
Most often the thinking goes something like this: “I finally reconciled myself to the idea you were incapable of change. Now I find out you can. WHY DIDN’T YOU DO THIS YEARS AGO?!? Why did you make me go through the last five years of begging and pleading?”
Most of us are looking for affirmation and compliments. Instead, we get anger.
After 22 years of marriage counseling I have this one piece of advice: you’re just going to have to ride the anger out, it’s unavoidable. Think of it as the natural consequence to your behavior. (You did the crime, now do the time.)
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