Before my wife and I were married (24 years ago) we saw our pastor for premarital counseling. Only it really wasn’t… it was pre-wedding counseling. The only thing he said that touched on marriage was his advise to not marry someone whose parents were divorced (mine had divorced a couple of years earlier). The rest of the sessions (I remember there being 2 or 3) focused on the wedding ceremony: who would stand where, what we were going to say in the vows, etc.
I enjoy doing premarital counseling. In fact, I feel a little guilty because it’s usually a lot of fun and not very hard work. Much of what I do is pre-re-marriage counseling. Two people who have both been divorced before and want to make sure they don’t repeat the same mistakes this time around. Often, it turns into a form of family counseling when I ask them to bring the kids in and we begin looking at how to blend them into one family.
This is one area in which the local church could take a much stronger lead. Older couples could be involved in a ministry that combines premarital counseling with marriage mentoring. Something that would take the couple from a few months before the wedding through the first year of marriage. This is the kind of thing I read about, talk about, but very rarely see in action. Is anyone’s church offering this type of ministry?
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