Internet relationships are often a source of conflict in marriage counseling. One partner feels cheated and has no problem labeling the relationship an affair. The other partner will often try to excuse his or her behavior by denying there was anything inappropriate about it; if no physical contact occurred, then it can’t really be much of a problem, can it?
A study by the Melbourne’s Swinburne University now offers evidence that internet relationships are often cited as a major cause of divorce in Australia.
One obvious problem of digital relationships is that the often move beyond the computer.
Of the 1,000 Internet couples interviewed, half of them admitted to already being in a relationship when meeting their new partner online.
The phenomenon appears to be gender neutral:
South Australian Law Society president Deej Eszenyi says both sexes are logging on to Internet affairs.
“Family lawyers in South Australia are telling me that this phenomenon is gender neutral, so that equal numbers of men and women are forming these Internet relationships,” she said.
I think a good definition of an affair is whenever we say things to a member of the opposite sex that we should be telling our spouse and then keep the relationship a secret.
If you would like to make a comment, please fill out the form below.
Maybe you could answer a question for me.
When you post about baseball or the SBC, you get several hits.
When you post about adultery, text messaging, internet, etc., people don’t say a word.
Why? Are they afraid?
Also, thanks for the recommendation on Ron Deal’s book. Wow. Great read.
Jason,
Good question, I’ve wondered the same thing. I think it’s that each blog has a different readership.
Looking at my stat-logs, Counseling Notes gets lots of hits referred from search engines. People are looking for specific information, not necessarily to interact in a community of bloggers.
Interregnum gets about 60 hits per day; probably from the same 150 or 200 people.
Whatever it is, it seems to be working. Southern Baptists interested in a conversation about church and other aspects of life leave comments on my other blog. Counseling Notes, though, generates several referrals for counseling… one of the reasons I started it.
Glad you enjoyed The Smart Step-Family; I think it’s one of the better books on the market for how to blend a family.
Makes sense.
I remember in seminary, a bunch of guys were discussing whether adultery disqualifies a pastor from the ministry. Finally the lone woman in the class mentioned that Jesus said looking at a woman with lust in your heart is on an equal level with adultery, and pornography might just fall into that category of lusting in one’s heart. So, does that disqualify a person? The room got deathly quiet. I wondered if it was because there was so much guilt in the room.
Then there is the phenomenon that has become mysecret.tv. Who would have thought that so many people have been guilty of sexual sin?
Anyway, I really enjoy your comments on both blogs.
There was another book I got at the same time as Deal’s. It is called “Stepcoupling.” It is about building a dynamic marriage. I’m just getting started on it. Are you familiar with it?
Jason,
Not familiar with it. Let me know what you think. Better yet, put a review on your blog and I’ll link to it!
Deal.