I’m often asked about Holiday Stress: is my counseling practice busier? Do I see more depression or marital problems? What about all the reports of increased suicides from Thanksgiving to New Years?
The truth is my practice slows down over the holidays. I think it’s simply a factor of economics. If you had to make a choice between paying your shrink or buying your kids Christmas presents, which would you choose?
And it’s a myth that suicides increase during the holidays. More suicides occur during the spring than over the holiday season.
But people do get stressed out. Phone calls and emails increase (probably because I don’t charge for those… but don’t tell my office manager) because people take on too much this time of year.
People are too busy. And their expectations of the perfect Christmas are too high. A few hints for handling holiday stress include:
1. Create new traditions. Every couple needs to separate from their families of origin. Sharing Christmas with family is a good thing. Being a couple that understands the principle of leaving and cleaving means that we establish our own family with our own traditions.
2. Focus on what God expects of you. Say “no” to some things. It’s not necessary to be involved in every Christmas ministry your church and community offers. It is okay to pick and choose.
3. Boycott the mall! ‘Nuff said.
4. Set aside time to grieve. Death, divorce, empty nest… all are losses and all need to be grieved.
5. Be proactive in preventing loneliness. Christmas comes every December 25th; plan for it, don’t let the holiday blues sneak up on you.
6. Keep things in perspective: we’re often confronted by unresolved issues during the holidays, but there’s no law that says issues have to be resolved immediately.
7. Stick with small talk. We counselors are often pushing people to dig deeper and have meaningful conversations. But not now. Keep it light. There’s time later for big talks.
8. Look to the future. The Ghost of Christmas Past may coming visiting, but now is the time to focus on how you want life to look in the future.
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Grieve over the empty nest thing? Was I supposed to do that?
Wow. Was all that money I blew on the week-long festival wasted?
I really really feel guilty now. Thanksalot, fella.
Happy to help, Bob.