Rachel Pollack, writing in the St. Petersburg Times, writes about the struggle of grandparents to see their grandchildren after a divorce. In Grandparents struggle to hold on after divorce:
It is well known that children are at risk when their parents divorce. At risk too, is my once harmonious relationship with my grandchildren. Unconditional time and love are all I have to give. I fear that time has been fractured.
Since my son’s divorce, I haven’t quite adapted or regained my equilibrium. I’ve told myself many times to be mature and sensible, in order to be able to help my son and most of all, my grandchildren. I know it will take strength to find perspective and time for me to try to help heal the broken hearts.
I have several random thoughts about grandparents and divorce.
Not all states have any kind of Grandparents Rights legislation; Oklahoma does not.
That may be a good thing. Splitting children’s loyalties and time between two households, much less three or four, is difficult enough.
Some grandparents have to work that much harder to maintain a relationship with their own child and their child’s ex if they want to spend time with the grandkids. It doesn’t sound fair, but that’s the way it seems to be.
Some of the worst custody battles I have seen occurred when grandparents worked harder for custody than the parent did. Bitter, protracted child custody battles are never good for children.
Many of those (above) could have been avoided if the grandparents had reached out to their soon-to-be-ex son or daughter in-law.
Grandparenting, done right, offers a child love and acceptance that is truly unconditional.
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