Myth #6: When parents don’t get along, children are better off if their parents divorce than if they stay together. (From David Popenoe’s Top Ten Myths of Divorce.)
Popenoe writes:
In lower-conflict marriages that end in divorce—and the study found that perhaps as many as two thirds of the divorces were of this type—the situation of the children was made much worse following a divorce. Based on the findings of this study, therefore, except in the minority of high-conflict marriages it is better for the children if their parents stay together and work out their problems than if they divorce.
Popenoe’s summary of the results of the study:
While it found that parents’ marital unhappiness and discord have a broad negative impact on virtually every dimension of their children’s well-being, so does the fact of going through a divorce. In examining the negative impacts on children more closely, the study discovered that it was only the children in very high conflict homes who benefited from the conflict removal that divorce may bring.
In the counselor’s office, couples who are hanging on to at least some hope for their marriage view this information as a life-line; they will often find the motivation they need to work on their relationship.
Couples or individuals who seem to already have their minds made up to divorce simply discount the research.
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