Somehow I missed this last August: Don’t Marry Career Women
Guys: a word of advice. Marry pretty women or ugly ones. Short ones or tall ones. Blondes or brunettes. Just, whatever you do, don’t marry a woman with a career.
Why? Because if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat and less likely to have children. And if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women–even those with a “feminist” outlook–are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.
Next, there is the counterpoint: Don’t Marry A Lazy Man .
Studies aside, modern marriage is a two-way street. Men should own up to their responsibilities, too.
Girlfriends: a word of advice. Ask your man the following question: When was the last time you learned something useful, either at home or work?
If the last new skill your guy learned was how to tie his shoes in the second grade, dump him. If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.
The original article was taken down by Forbes and replaced as the version linked to above. A quick Google search shows about 250 others sites link to this article. It appears to me most of the people linking to the Forbes article do so because:
1) They don’t like it (always annoying).
2) They have questions surrounding the conclusions drawn by a journalist about social science research (always appropriate).
3) They use their own marriages as examples to discount the research ( “Since I’m a happily married career woman, this research is meaningless”: always interesting, but rarely a convincing argument).
Diane Sollee of SmartMarriages.com, when asked about the article, said “I thought it performed a wonderful service in identifying the weak spots/danger points for dual career marriages which would help these couples better prepare and avoid the pitfalls. (And) that time management is a huge issue for all couples so it makes sense that it’s an even more stressful issue for couples that are facing the dual-career balancing act. (These) couples can be greatly served by taking a marriage education class.“
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I always wonder who these guys talk to. Nobody ever asks me, and I’ve been married 48 years next month.
Come to think of it, my late brother was doing marriage counseling while going through a divorce.
I have seen flirtatious women at work, a lot. I’m not surprised that many women have affairs with men they work with.
My wife is a teacher, and the only man at her work is the custodian, who is pretty old, and speaks little or no English. Perfect.
The other place women find men to cheat with is church. Perhaps because they find men there who they think will meet their spiritual needs. If a man goes to church, maybe he isn’t as shallow as the jack she married, and maybe this guy would actually talk to her.
So, if you want to have a happy wife who stays faithful, marry a teacher and take her to church.
Is that a book deal I smell?!
What do you think, Bowden? Am I close?
Bob,
You’ve given me a new idea: sometime in the next month I’ll do a series of posts – and solicit stories and advice – from people with long term marriages.
(But I think I’m more interested in your wife’s secrets to staying married to you rather than the other way around.)
Jason,
Sounds like a book to me!
I think Dr. Mohler had a field day with this one last Fall, IIRC–which is the only reason I caught it.
Just from personal experience though I can say that most of the professional women I have known seemed to be pretty unhappy about having to work–whatever their circumstances.
Josh
“…the word of God is not bound.”
–2 Timothy 2:9
Josh,
I did a search for “career women” on Al’s blog and came up with these three articles:
None of them specifically reference the Forbes article, but all are on the same topic.
Dear Brother Bowden,
I despise the article’s conclusion, which is an attitude I hear all the time.
Research: “Career women have all kinds of family trouble that homemakers don’t have.”
Answer: “Oh, well then we career women better take a class on how to avoid those troubles.”
To me that sounds like like a smoker who won’t quit, so uses breath mints to hide the cigarette breath.
Just thought I would spread a little sunshine!
Love in Christ,
Jef
Jef,
To be fair to Diane (who had nothing to do with the writing of either op.ed. but is a well known marriage therapist), I think she was simply putting the most positive spin possible on the article.
Plus, marriage education is her thing… Diane shilling for more marriage education is about as surprising as a SBC pastor giving an invitation to three stanza’s of “Just as I am”.
Bowden,
I had a conversation with a friend this week about how poor a job the church does in ministering to “nontraditional…
Nope. Nevermind. Too long a comment. I’ll blog it instead.