A Blessing and a Curse
Sexuality’s ability to touch us so deeply can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s a curse when people attempt to experience the ultimate in sexual connection outside the framework of marriage. Research consistently shows that people are most satisfied sexually within the context of commitment in marriage, and it is within marriage that [...]
ADHD: Overdiagnosed?
A question came up in class the other day: do I believe ADHD is over-diagnosed? Students ask this question every semester. Parents ask me the same question in my counseling office on a regular basis. I’ve always had a problem with the term over-diagnosed. I keep thinking of a retailer who has over-stocked a particular [...]
Helicopter Parents Reconsidered
This time last year I said some unkind things about “helicopter parents”. Helicopter parents is a term that describes parents who “hover” over their children. More than hovering, it carries a connotation of parents who do their child’s homeword, fight their battles, and generally handicap their child by not allowing to succeed or fail on [...]
Financial Infidelity
Disagreements over money don’t cause problems in relationships. Money problems exacerbate relationship problems: the stress acts as a magnifying glass, making whatever cracks are in the marriage worse. Usually, the problem isn’t the amount of money. I’ve seen couples argue over little and much. It’s not the amount of cash on hand, it’s the differing [...]
Change the World
Marriage is the foundation of the family and the family is the foundation of society: if we strengthen marriage, we strengthen the family, we strengthen the children and we strengthen the community. If your goal is to help improve the world, marriage is as good a place as any to start. -Diane Sollee
Parents Who Hover
My secretary fielded a phone call the other day: a mom wanted to make an appointment for her 19-year-old son AND she wanted to come in – by herself – for the first session BEFORE I saw the young man. I overheard her explain that “I don’t have to ask him; I already know that [...]
Happiness and a Long Life
Eating right, exercising regularly, being blessed with good genes: all are thought to promote good health and a long life. Now, we can add being happy to the list.1 Happiness does not heal, but happiness protects against falling ill. As a result, happy people live longer. The size of the effect on longevity is comparable [...]
Happy Enough
Ed Diener is a happiness guru. Well, he’s really a professor of psychology at the University of Illinois who’s made a career of researching positive psychology and happiness. “Happy people are more likely (than unhappy people) to get married, are more likely to stay married, are more likely to think their marriage is good,” Diener [...]
10 Healthy Marriage Tips
10 things you can do to have a healthy marriage 1. Spend time with each other. 2. Learn to negotiate conflict. 3. Show respect for each other at all times. 4. Learn about yourself first. 5. Explore intimacy. 6. Explore common interests. 7. Create a spiritual connection. 8. Improve your communication skills. 9. Forgive each [...]
